Long time - New Town

The last time I posted I had started a new job in a new city, Seattle. I was living out of an Extended Stay hotel and my wife was busy back in Omaha; packing, renting out the house, finalizing the move.

With all of the new things going on in life it was like sensory overload. New sights, new sounds, new smells.

I am regularly asked by people what it is like to live in Seattle and the best way I can describe it is like a working vacation. Obviously, with any job, there are people and policies that take some getting used to, but the job aside, I still can't believe I live here. I can walk six blocks down, look to the left and see mountains, look to the right and see the sound and more mountains. It's amazing. The beauty is like nothing I have ever experienced during an extended period of time. It has been in the 70s for about two months. I mean, 70 in August? Wow.

They tell me that winters are rough. Short days, cloudy, rainy. I'm sure it will be an adjustment, but I am excited about ridding my life of ice and snow.

Four months into this new life and I am thankful for a few things. It has been good for my marriage to leave Omaha. Not that there was anything wrong with Omaha (there was for her), but it just felt stale. It was a similar feeling as going over to a friend's house and realizing you overstayed your welcome. Another plus is if I have to work it is awesome to live in a place with so many things to offer.

At the end of the day I still have a lot of the same worries and anxieties I had in my old life. My personality and disposition on life have not changed, if anything they have been reinforced, but it has been good for me to change the scenery and, among other things, it has bolstered my confidence in my abilities.

Here's to a new beginning and a reinforcement of things learned and experienced.

Failure; Matrix, Harvard Business Review, Jesus, and Me

I watched a couple of the Matrix movies on TNT tonight and I was struck by the amount of failures. Trinity and Neo died, so did a lot of other humans. In HBRs latest issue I read about the failure of Blockbuster. One perspective by the last great CEO of the company and the other by the Activist investor that gained control as the company phased out in a whimper of self-destruction. And this all led to a thought about Jesus. A guy, whether you believe in his religion or not, who was murdered by a bunch of people that think like us. The good guy is taken down, but the implications of immediate victory are ultimately realized to be a failure.

And lastly I think about my time with a company that I helped create. A company that I left in the hands of another person.

My new boss asked me, “how could you just walk away?”
To which I responded, “it was a learning experience, like university. I learned more in those five years then I ever would from going to school.”
While I still believe what I told him it is apparent to me that there are things I could have done differently.

John Antioco, former CEO of Blockbuster, wrote, “And if I could turn back the clock, I might focus on….”

When I look back on my life there are undoubtedly things that I wish I would have focused on or different directions I wish I had taken. But, early in the morning, when I am looking my scraggly ass in the mirror, I realize I can’t. The only thing I can do is sober up and work a little harder at making today more beneficial (successful) for those around me.

Love Story

Brown eyed girl. Yeah, really, she is brown eyed. Our story is one for the records books. It has more to do with fact than ego.

She puts up with my drunken ass. Why? Maybe it is because she KNOWS I love her. A give and take kind of thing. Maybe it is the weekly flowers.

Local Natives - Airplanes

Here is another song that reminds me of losing someone and how important it is to enjoy every moment we have with the people we care about. To spend more time learning about people rather than judging them.

Jack's Mannequin - The Mixed Tape

When I was younger, before CD's, I can remember listening to the radio, blank tape in the deck, and hitting the record when a great song showed up. Sometimes I gave my tapes to a special girl, sometimes I kept them for myself.

I wonder where those tapes are. I wonder where the people I gave those tapes to are. I have lost track of a lot of people in my life. Sometimes for the best. But I wish them all the best; well, ok, most of them.

Re: Appearances

My cyber buddy wrote an interesting post addressing the way people dress and publicly present themselves; Appearances.

This post made me think about how much of an ass I have been. My wife likes to dress and act in ways that I would consider outrageous. She likes to wear crazy shoes and hats and she sometimes gets loud when she is expressing herself. It makes me cringe. From an early age, it has been ingrained into me that these forms of expression should be suppressed in order to keep a low profile and act "christian" (whatever that means).

When I look back on my life there are certain things I have said and done that make me disgusted with myself. One example would be when my wife gets a little loud or dances around in a department store when a song she likes gets played over the speakers. Another example is when she buys a bright shirt or pair of pants. Negative comments and looks ensue. Like I said, I am an ass.

Yesterday, we were out walking around in Seattle and she found this flamboyant hat for sale. She tried it on and asked me what I thought. I smiled and shook my head a little. Then responded with, "let's get it. You would fit right in out here." She didn't buy it, but I could tell she wanted it. I should have grabbed it for her.

Anyway, I think it is shameful the way that I have acted towards her and the judgmental thoughts I have had towards other people simply because they have said or chosen to present themselves in ways that I would not do with myself. It would be a boring world if everyone dressed or acted like One Observationist.

Writing - Randy Wayne White

Randy Wayne White had a few other comments that I wanted to pass along before I drop the subject.

1. Everyone over the age of 21 has a book inside them. If you survive adolescence then the book is waiting for you to write it.

2. Everyone has their own process for writing. Some people outline it. Some people just start writing and let the story create itself without any planning.

3. What if your great-great grandparent had written one simple paragraph about anything? You can look at a picture from that time period and it may or may not speak to you. But the written word can tell you a lot about where you come from. It can tell other people where you come from.

4. If you are a reader then you are also a writer.

5. If you can't find a publisher then self-publish. Be wary of the companies that want you to pay them to publish your work. It's probably a gimmick.

Besides being a great storyteller, it is apparent to me that Randy is passionate about helping aspiring writers. It is one thing that attracts me to his work.

Florida Book Signing - Randy Wayne White

Last summer a friend of mine turned me on to a series of books written by Randy Wayne White. His latest book was released last Sunday and his book signing tour started at a restaurant by the same name as one of his main characters, Doc Ford.

During the question and answer session he reignited some thoughts I have had in the back of my brain for a few years. "Everyone over the age of 21 has a book in them by virtue of having survived adolescence. Many have the calling, but most of us fall for our own carefully constructed excuses. It is our readers’ loss."

It might sound kind of geeky and it is definitely book wormish, but we had a great time. In some ways it was inspirational and in other ways it was just flat out fun, especially getting burnt to hell on our kayak tour of the Everglades. What a beautiful area to explore.

Randy's website: http://www.docford.com/Site2/Welcome!.html

Bobby's Song by Speed the Plough

I was flipping channels on the radio the other day and came across this one. It was the phrase, "it's just another train going by...." This phrase made me think about life and how fleeting it is. It makes me want to make sure I appreciate and grab a hold of all the little moments. The dull ones like sharing a bottle of wine with my wife while cooking wine and the fun moments like meeting one of my favorite authors in Florida.

Freedom

It is not so often that I read a work of fiction that has the ability to move me and cause me to think about how I live my life.

Franzen does a spectacular job painting the problems that so many families have; drama. Though my family’s problems were different, the attitudes and flaws of the characters can be seen in myself and those of the other members. If anything, it was a fantastic reminder of how screwed up all of us are. Even when we think we have a right to be angry, disappointed, or whatever else we’re feeling at the end of the day I’m not sure we’re much better than the people we’re pissed with.

The other thing this novel reminded me of was forgiveness. As hard as it is for me to forgive people not forgiving them is a tragedy. I call it a tragedy because of the damage that is done by not forgiving. I think the act of doing it can help us push past the hurt, the pain, the anger. Of course, I understand that this is easy to say. And no, I am not exactly sure how to implement it in my life. Especially for those that have no desire to apologize or feel remorse for their actions or words. The fault could lie with me in some cases. I’m not exactly the type of person to tell people that I am upset or troubled by what they said or did.

Arcade Fire - We Used to Wait

I think this could be one of the songs included on a soundtrack if they made a movie for the book "Freedom" by Jonathan Franzen.

The Naked and Famous - Young Blood

This song reminds me of a lot of things from years that have long passed me by; a time in my life that seemed destined for failure and upset and hope and promise. Opposing feelings, but that’s how my young life was; conflicting thoughts and feelings. I was trying to find myself; the in-between.

It reminds me getting married young; now we’re almost old lovers. I can remember holding each other; we were bitter; we were alone, together. We found love eventually.

It reminds me of how much I longed for an escape from childhood. I wanted to run and run and run until I found whatever it was I was looking for.

Small Business Lifestyles

I sold my shares in a small business last November, but I still have a passion for small businesses and the roles they play in our economy. The other day, bored, grocery shopping at 1:30pm, I was browsing the magazine aisle and came across the Fall 2010 issue of Entrepreneur.

Page 10 has some interesting statistics:
29.6 million Small Businesses provide the following:
• 44% of total private U.S. payroll
• 64% of new job creation over the last 15 years

Firms with less than 20 employees:
• Pay 45% more per employee than larger companies to comply with federal regulations
• Pay 4.5 times per employee to comply with environmental regulations
• Pay 67% more per employee to comply with tax regulations

This data confirms my personal experiences. The companies (and people for that matter) hardest hit by government rules and regulations are the small ones. Or in the case of people, those of us simply trying to live a modest lifestyle. Why do you think that is?

I think part of the answer lies in the statistics. If small businesses create the most new jobs and contribute a substantial amount to government’s bottom line then it only makes sense that they are going to get screwed the hardest. With regards to the expenses per employee it reminds me of “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand. Everyone and every company needs to have a lobbyist in Washington to fight for their causes, rights, interests, etc. Small companies can not afford this representation so, once again, they get screwed.

25th Anniversary - Space Shuttle Challenger

It was 3rd grade. The teachers gathered everyone into the hallway, rolled in a television and we watched this. There was so much excitement in the air. The teachers had one of their own launching off this planet and into space. About one minute thirty seconds into the live feed the shuttle blew up. As students, we didn't really know what was going on. It wasn't really until the teachers started crying that we realized there was a "major malfunction".

Portishead - Sour Times

Back story: It took me 15 years to find this song. When I was a teenager, I had this friend I used to smoke pot with. Every time we would go over to his place to light up he would throw this song on.